Sex Quotes

Quotes About Sex by Famous People

“I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.”
-Steve Martin

“You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.”
–Drew Carey

“Sex without love is a meaningless experience. But as meaningless experiences go, it’s one of the best.”
–Woody Allen

“Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.”
–Unknown

“If it weren’t for pickpockets I’d have no sex life at all.”
–Rodney Dangerfield

“My cousin is an agoraphobic homosexual, which makes it difficult for him to come out of the closet.”–Bill Kelly

“As the French say, there are three sexes-men, women and clergymen.”
–Rev. Sydney Smith

“Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.”
–Woody Allen

“Homosexuality is God’s way of insuring that the truly gifted aren’t burdened with children.”
–Sam Austin

“I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.”
–George Burns

“It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.”
–Matt Barry

“Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist.”
–Camille Paglia

“Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest
of your life.”
–Michael Sinz

“Remember, if you smoke after sex you’re doing it too fast.”
–Woody Allen

“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.”
–George Burns

“Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.”
–Henry Miller

“The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments
to heterosexuals. That doesn’t mean that God doesn’t love heterosexuals. It’s just that they need more supervision.”
–Lynn Lavner

“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.”
–P. J. O’Rourke

“There’s nothing wrong with making love with the light on. Just make sure the car door is closed.”
–George Burns

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.” –Tom Clancy
You know “that look” women get when they want sex? Me neither.” –Steve Martin
“Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.” –Woody Allen
“Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.” –Rodney Dangerfield
“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 500SL.” –Lynn Lavner
“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.” –Camille Paglia
“Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.”–George Burns
“Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.” — Sharon Stone
“My girlfriend always laughs during sex—no matter what she’s reading.”– Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)
I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with “Guess” on it. I said, “Thyroid problem?” — Arnold Schwarzenegger
“My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.” –Jack Nicholson
“Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.”– Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn’t think Barbara had a sense of humor)
“Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.”– Robin Williams
“Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.” — Roseanne
“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.” — Billy Crystal
“According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.”–Robert De Niro
“There’s a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what’s the problem?”– Dustin Hoffman
“There’s very little advice in men’s magazines, because men think, I know what I’m doing. Just show me somebody naked.” — Jerry Seinfeld
“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.” — Rod Stewart
“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time”. — Robin Williams


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